I'm competing in the Portland's Funniest Person contest again this year at Helium Comedy Club - and I need your help to get to the semifinals! Audience vote decides who advances in the first round, so please come to the show and vote for me! Tickets are available online here: https://center-stage.seatengine.com/5/showtimes/13510 and also by calling the Helium box office at 888-643-8669. If you call for tickets, mention my name and they will be HALF PRICE! That's right - drop my name, and you'll pay only $5 a ticket like a VIP/boss.
I LOVE ALL OF YOU.