I'm so proud to have been named to the Portland Mercury's Undisputable Geniuses of Comedy! Come check out the monster show at Revolution Hall on September 16th! The Portland Mercury said, "Hailing from Alaska, Becky has blown into Portland like a comedy tsunami, with tons of energy and wide-eyed enthusiasm. Her brand of snappy humor has made her a hit at Bridgetown and the All Jane Festival, as well as being an audience favorite the 2016 Big Sky Comedy Fest. She’s clearly the best thing that’s ever come from Alaska. Like, by far."
I'm so excited to say that I will be performing at the 2017 Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland in May! There are so many stellar comedians on this lineup, and I'm so proud to be one of them. I will post my schedule when I have it!
The tenth annual Bridgetown Comedy Festival returns to Portland May 4-7, 2017, featuring over 100 of the top comedians in the business, with over 50 of those making their Bridgetown debut. Take a look at our list of performers and themed shows, and get your pre-sale discount festival pass at bridgetown2017.eventbrite.com now!
Tickets are also going fast for our pre-festival special event presentation of Patton Oswalt at Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall on May 2nd. Visit portland5.com for tickets soon, as this show will sell out.
*Note that festival passes do not include admission to events taking place at Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall or Revolution Hall
I'm performing at the 2017 Golden Spike Comedy Festival with TJ Miller, Margaret Cho, Jason Mewes & More!
REAL COOL NEWS: I'm super excited to say that I will be performing at the Golden Spike Comedy Festival next month in Salt Lake City! TJ Miller, Margaret Cho, Jason Mewes and a whole bunch of other hella cool people are gonna be there, and also me! I better rewatch SLC Punk.
I'm so very happy to announce that I am a top-5 finalist for Best Comedian in the Willamette Week 'Best of Portland' poll! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who nominated me, I'm absolutely overwhelmed by your support. VOTING IS NOW OPEN UNTIL MAY 30th!! It is a massive honor to be included on the shortlist with Bri Pruett, Nathan Brannon, Curtis Cook & Belinda Carroll! The full list of finalist nominees is here: http://wweek.secondstreetapp.com/l/BOP-Voting-2016/Ballot/ArtsampCulture
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS 2016
• Be better
• Learn to barter in French
• Curl any ribbon with scissors
• Find three things
• Open a thrift stand
• Animal welfare
• Lose weight
Looking for an easy way to make sure everyone knows the Force is definitely NOT with you? Here's a list of five things you can tell people you don't give about Star Wars!
1. A rat’s ass
Traditions are important. Why not stick with a winner? Nothing says, “I have no interest in this sci-fi movie event” like the good old-fashioned ass of a rat.
2. Two shits
This is the hyperbole for those who REALLY mean it. Your disgust for all things Star Wars is so dense and fibrous, one shit will not even cover it. “You think I’m going to spend two shits’ worth of time out my day ruminating on Harrison Ford and a bunch of CGI robots? NOPE.”
3. A flying fuck
We’re starting to sound like Twelve Days of Christmas here, but not even a hundred pipers piping can get you to launch a single fuck into orbit about the sci-fi sequel of the decade. Every single fuck in your possession is staying right on the ground, and a mile away from any movie theater this month.
4. A toss and/or wank
Brits and Aussies - this one’s for you! Even C3PO’s quilted tea cosy accent couldn’t buy it back for you guys, and that takes commitment. Nothing kills the mood for you like a trapezoidal trumpet fanfare title sequence washing over a hundred nerds in the dark. Well, actually now you put it like that…
5. A good goddamn
You've said it a hundred times. They’ve been beating this sad dead corpse of a merchandise marketing machine for more than 30 years now. They tried animated creatures, they tried Ewan MacGregor, they tried scaring Harrison Ford out of whatever tree he was hiding in, why won’t they just let it die? You HATE this movie and everyone in it, you hate the cultural stink bomb it’s become, and you would rather die with a turd in your eye than hear one more word about any story that doesn’t take place right now in the present time, in a galaxy so close we’re actually in it. Your hate deserves more than just a regular goddamn - you’ve saved your BEST goddamn for this pile of turnips. For you, there is no trying this movie, it will only lead to suffering.
- Faux turkey
- One golden fork
- Potato powder
- Cranberry sauce
I'm SO honored and grateful to be included in the 'Best of Portland' showcase this Thursday at Helium Comedy Club - Portland. What?! Yes. This lineup is so fantastic, which includes my friends Adam Pasi Neeraj Srinivasan, Jeremy Eli, Ali Reingold & Curtis Cook, and it's hosted by one of the absolute funniest dudes in town, Anthony Lopez. I'm so stoked for this, I can't even fully describe it.
The show is Thursday, October 15th at 8pm at Helium Comedy Club. Get tickets and read more about it here!
Guess what guys? I won the first Tonight's Funniest Comedy Competition at Capitol City Theater! My buddy Neeraj Srinivasan came in second, and he did awesome as usual. It was such a fantastic show, the crowd was so awesome, Nathan Fleming did a great job hosting, and Capitol City Theater is such a rad place to perform. I'm totally looking forward to hosting the next one in October, and crowning the next winner! SALEM I WILL RETURN FOR YOU! <3
I got 2nd place overall in the House of Hyjinx Comedy Competition last night! It was a really tough competition, and there were a lot of great sets. Debbie Wooten took 1st and Sharon Lacey came in 3rd. It was such an awesome, well-run show and the crowd was fantastic. Thanks so much to The Real Hyjinx, Dirty Angel Entertainment, the judges, the other brilliant comics and everyone involved. The top 3 get our own showcase - stay tuned for info!
Hey! I was a guest on the podcast 'Date Nights with Roscoe Myrick' - check it out! Low point is probably my 10 minute run-on sentence about how social progress among the youth is a good thing. High points are definitely my Anatoli Brant impression and the absolute literal insanity that happens towards the end.
Check out the awesome article and listen to the podcast here!
Europe is in trouble. The whole country of Greece is going under. Like a discount furniture store. Greece is goin' out of business. They need to start selling off some of that ancient shit. Take a second mortgage out on the Parthenon. Maybe rent out the Acropolis for bar mitzvahs and quinceañeras. They need to make some scratch quick. I've been to Greece. It's an awesome country. I hope they can get their shit together. And hopefully the EU will have some mercy on them. Every country fucks up at least once. Hey - why not take a vote? They invented it, after all.
We did it! With your help, I made the semifinals of Portland's Funniest Person at Helium Comedy Club - Portland and the moment of truth is Wednesday, July 1st at 7pm (Doors open at 6:30). My goal this year is to make the finals, and you could be there to see it happen (or see my entire life go up in flames - AGAIN!) Either way, it's gonna be a hell of a show.
Get tickets here: https://center-stage-helium-comedy-club-portland.seatengine.com/shows/17964
Sadly, audience vote does not count at this round, but audience REACTION does. So it would be just stellar if a bunch of Becky supporters could show up and have a complete paroxysm after everything I say.
1. Guaranteed good time
2. High quality comedians
3. Weed is legal in Oregon that day
4. Really exciting
5. Air conditioning!!!!!!!!!!
I'm competing in the Portland's Funniest Person contest again this year at Helium Comedy Club - and I need your help to get to the semifinals! Audience vote decides who advances in the first round, so please come to the show and vote for me! Tickets are available online here: https://center-stage.seatengine.com/5/showtimes/13510 and also by calling the Helium box office at 888-643-8669. If you call for tickets, mention my name and they will be HALF PRICE! That's right - drop my name, and you'll pay only $5 a ticket like a VIP/boss.
I LOVE ALL OF YOU.
Hey! This is actually pretty fun, so definitely check it out. You can vote for me as Best Local Comedian, as well as several other Portland entities in their respective categories (one of which is Marijuana, by the way!). Along with myself of course, I'm also endorsing Helium for Best Comedy Club, both Lez Stand Up and Midnight Mass for Best Comedy Night, my buddy David Mascorro for Best Spoken Word/Storytelling, and my patron Saint Kristine Levine for Best Local Actor (she's a comedian too, but she's been on Portlandia like SEVERAL times, so seems legit.)
** YOU MUST VOTE IN AT LEAST 20 CATEGORIES FOR YOUR VOTE TO COUNT. **
I saw two dirty hippies, nowhere near a designated bus stop, try to flag down the bus on a busy street. When I say 'dirty hippies', I'm not using it as a term of derision - as in, "those damn dirty hippies got their crusty little twig arms stuck in the peach bin again!", when really it's just a couple of trust fund kids who want to make sure everyone knows they recycle. I mean they looked like they had been ejected from Woodstock '97, have been wandering aimlessly ever since, and were truly crusted in VISIBLE soil, from dred to toe.
It must have been an odd moment, and I'll never know what caused the urgency, but they were sprinting at full tilt after the bus, waving and screaming like lunatics. I'm not sure what they could have been thinking - that the bus driver would just be like, "Well, we don't usually stop a moving bus for random people in the middle of a busy intersection, but I'll make an exception for Feather and Fawn there," and he would just pssssh! the door open and let them into the land of hemp milk and local organic honey.
They did not get on the bus. Somewhere in Portland, north of Capitol Highway, there is a shed full of chickens that did not get fed on time. A curled orange leaf falls silently from a tree. It is nighttime in Oregon, and the stars look down on us all.